I know it's late, as I have to be up at 5:00 in the morning, but I just can't sleep yet. I thought maybe typing for awhile would make my eyes tired and then I'd want to crash out. Or not. I think I'm just trying to drag out the evening as long as possible, so morning will take longer to get here. I don't want to go in the morning at all. I have had all my parts and pieces for all these years, and I'm not thrilled about having one of them taken out, even if it is bad. A part of me just wants to jump in my Vettester and head anywhere.......fast! The other part of me just wants to get it over with, and get back home to my comfy bed. Better hide the Vette keys.............just in case! Just kidding. Oh oh, it's midnight now. No more drinks or eats for me. :O( Next meal will be hospital grub................yum! Wish me luck, eh? Nite. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (I hope)

I talked to my Mom this morning, and she said that she totally understands my not wanting them to come up, as I will be in the guest room for a couple of days, and Nick will have everything taken care of. Phew......................that's a load off my mind. I was soooooo afraid that her feelings were gonna be hurt, and she'd be upset. I'll never figure that woman out. Anyway, one less thing to worry about.

Well I found out this morning that my surgery is at 7:45am tomorrow, and that I have to be there at 6am. Ugh. Good thing is that I'm the first operation of the day, so hopefully my doctor will be fresh as a daisy when I roll in. God I hope he's not a drinker and hungover. *shudders* I'm a tad bit nervous today, but I've been so busy around here getting things ready, that I haven't had much time to think about it. (I planned it that way)

I am not at all cool with this surgery shit. I hope I don't freak out or something. Just pre-operative jitters I guess. If I'm missing on Thursday morning........I've driven to Nevada. Or somewhere equally far.

The picnic at Ed's house was really nice, despite the threatening weather we were having when we left home. Up at his place, it wasn't raining at all, which was a nice surprise. We all just sat on their deck, bullshitting and eating. Very relaxed and easy going type get-together, which was nice. I'm really not a big party person, so I didn't know how this was gonna turn out, but it was a super nice time. There were only 10 of us, so it was easy to talk. Only problem for me was that I couldn't eat any of the delicious ranch dip they servrd with the veggies. See, I luv ranch dressing. Oh well. Twas not to be, for me.

Nick and I are going to a picnic at Ed's (one of my co-workers) house today. Should be nice, if it ever stops raining. I made a pineapple upsidedown cake last night, and I must say it looks really good! Of course the way I've been eating lately, everything looks really good to me.

I have two new obsessions. Self-tanning and hair removal. Not only do I have Nair, but also Neet and shave gel, and I'm also looking to find that new Veet stuff. I think it's just a phase. I dunno.

I have been in a pretty great frame of mind lately, and no it's not because of the Vicodin I took last night. I have been losing quite a bit of weight due to my gallbladder attack in late June. See I haven't been eating anything greasy or fatty, and I've really cut down on my sugar consumption too. Well, it's really beginning to show, and I'm enjoying every minute of this shit, I'll telll ya! Hell ya. I've wanted to lose weight ever since I had Nick, (almost 20 years ago!!), but till now I never really had the motivation to do so. Well, if having pain in your chest that's so intense that it feels like a heart attack, and lasts for 4 hours isn't motivation..........I don't know what the hell would be. Nuff said. If I never eat that stuff again it'll be too soon. Anyway, everyone at work is like freaked out by how good I'm starting to look, and I must say I feel better too. And my co-workers are starting to work out, and watch what they eat, so it makes me feel good to be sort of a motivating factor for them. See, take a bad situation and turn it into something good. This is what we are doing.

Damn did my mouth hurt last night..............I just wanted to rip my friggin' head off! I took 2 Vicodin, and they barely took the edge off. Luckily when I woke up today, I was feeling alot better. What a night.

I went to the hospital this morning for my pre-op testing. The two worst parts of the ordeal were, no coffee and finding a parking spot. I ended up parking in the lot, and luckily I had just enuff quarters to cover my time there. The testing part wasn't bad at all......answered a few health questions, had a chest x-ray, and gave a bit of blood. The woman that drew the blood samples was fantastic...............I didn't even know the needle was in my hand. Yeah, they have to take it from my hand because the veins are too deep in my arm, and no one ever gets to them without causing me alot of pain, and me wanting to punch them in the face for hurting me. The only part that got to me a bit, (alot), was when the gal that was talking to me about the anestesia, told me that they would be putting a tube down my throat to help me breathe, but I would be asleep when they did. Whoopteeshit. I don't want a friggin' tube down my throat................ever! Asleep or not. I'm not happy about this at all. After all that, I went and had a root canal. Hopefully my tooth will stop driving me nuts now. Fun morning, huh?

Here we go again kiddies.............I managed to screw up the 'puter again. Friggin' screensavers. I swear I'll never, ever download another one again. F'n smack me silly if I do, ok? The damn thing didn't cause any problems when it ran............only after I un-installed it. (The real bitch is that I didn't even like the damn screensaver!) Now, even though I can still use the pc, it does odd shit that it didn't do before. I don't think it's a bug, as I did a complete system virus scan, and it came up negative. Just enuff bullshit to piss me off ya know? Just enuff.

Well, I made it to the suck-ass meeting at 9 am this morning. The bosses just think it's so friggin' cute that they can drag us in on our day off, and brow beat us for a half an hour in the name of "training". Bite me. Anyhow, with that out of the way, I can now figure what I'm gonna do with the rest of my day. I don't know if my brother-in-law and his family are gonna be up tomorrow or not. If they are, I have to clean out the guest room pronto. If not, well then I can kinda chill all day, except for getting my stuff ready for work this week. I hope I hear from someone, soon so I know what the hell to do.


Yesterday I went to the Library, to see if they had any Pilates books I could borrow, instead of ordering them from my bookclub. I don't want to get stuck with books if they suck. Well they didn't have them at our branch, so they're having them brought in from the main library. Should be here today, I hope. I've been losing alot of weight, but I need to tone up too, and I've heard that the Pilates workout is very good for toning and aiding in flexibility. I'll give it a shot and see if I notice any good results. While I was at the library, I realized that it had been sooooooo long since I'd used the damn thing, that I had forgotten how to use it!!! Like, are things listed by Author or title? I felt like a real dumbass, but a sweet woman there said she completely understood. I'd bet money that she called me a "dumbass" when I left. That's okay. As long as she gets my books, I don't care what she thinks about me.

I am soooo happy to be off for two days! Sometimes I think we need two days off for every two worked, it just sucks so bad there anymore. Anyway, enuff talk about the "Grind" for now. I am sleeping in tomorrow, no matter what, and I am not going to let anyone or anything, (excluding maybe a house fire!), get me out of bed until I want to get out. And that's that!! See, my attempts to sleep in have been thwarted by one thing or another over the past few weeks, and over the next few weeks, I'm not going to have any mornings off, that I don't either have an appointment or a meeting of some sort. Sleeping late is my one true pleasure........I adore it. So everyone around here has been warned not to wake me. Won't be pretty if they do.

My day was uneventful, except for when my tooth went ape shit on me for awhile, and I was in so much pain that I wanted to hack my head off. I resolved the problem, and the rest of the evening was a breeze. Amen. Now all I need to do is pack, shower and hit the sheets. We're leaving at 10 in the morning, and I don't want to be draggin' my ass all day, so I'm gonna get a good nights sleep. We should have a nice visit, as the weather is going to be great, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone at the reunion. Nite!

I should be in bed right now, but seeing as I don't have to be at work till 2:30, I'm pushing it a bit. Yesterday kinda sucked from the get-go. I woke up with the whole left side of my face swollen from my damn tooth. Beautiful. Good news is that I wasn't in as much pain as I was Wednesday night. I can't stand the pain. Anyway, I got alot of stuff done today, and hopefully all I have to do to tonight is pack and wrap up a few loose ends. Then it's off to the reunion on Saturday morning. Nite.....pain pill kicking in!

I have an abcessed tooth. Left side of face is swollen and throbbing, even though I saw the Dentist this morning, and he opened the tooth up to drain, and gave me antibiotics. Damn I hate this shit..........it ruined my whole day off. I just took some more pain meds, grabbed the ice bag, and I'm going to bed. Hopefully by morning, the antibiotics will have kicked in and the swelling will have gone down. Damn it. I look like a freak. :O( (LIke Goldie Hawn in The First Wives Club, after she had that terrible botox "lip job"!)

Well, I went to the consultation yesterday, and yes, the "S" word was used. Surgery. The ole Gallbladder gotta go. Deep inside I knew it, but I didn't want to hear it. August 1st is the big day, and our 21st Wedding Anniversary to boot. I guess I'll never forget this coming anniversary, huh? Anyway, the date is set, now all I have to do is some preliminary tests in a week or so. I'm a bit nervous about the whole ordeal, mostly because of surgery horror stories you always hear about. I know, I'm dramatic at times, but I heard about these people that when they were put under, they still felt all the pain from the surgery, but they couldn't move or speak to alert anyone! Now wouldn't that be a bitch? Shit. Anyhow, I'm gonna try not to dwell on it. But I am nervous. I am. Sissy me.

I have a neurotic Hamster. It keeps running back and forth, really fast, over and over. What the hell is going on in his head?

Well, today at Noon, I have to go for a consultation with a surgeon about my friggin' Gallbladder, and I'm not too excited about this stuff at all. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm not gonna get all whacked about it............yet. Part of me is anxious to get this all over with, as I'm really scared to have another attack. But another part of me doesn't want to hear the word "surgery", as I haven't had an operation since I was about 5 or so, and had my tonsils removed. I puked. I remember that. I never heard of the Doctor that they referred me to, so I don't even know who I'm seeing today. No matter how I look at this, it bites. I guess I just have to go and see what he has to say.

Tonight , I came home from work hot, sticky, miserable, with a throbbing headache and a stiff neck. Work was so friggin' hot that the customers were even commenting about it. By 8pm I had all I could take of the bullshit. I need to dig up something cool to wear tomorrow, and I really don't feel like doing anything right now, but taking a cool shower and hitting the sheets. Not to be though.......gotta get a few things done before I reach that point. Shit.

My Sis-in-law Deb and my niece Jackie did come up for the weekend, and it was sooo nice to be able to spend a bit of time with them. Yesterday, they came over the house around 6 or so, and we just sat outside on the patio and chatted about anything and everything. Very relaxing and enjoyable. It is so nice when you have people visit, that just go with the flow, sit back and chill for awhile and share a few laughs. They headed back to their hotel around 8:30 or so, as they were pooped from riding bikes around the Penninsula, and swimming. When they were leaving, we made loose plans to meet today to do some shopping. Deb called me this morning, ( they slept in just like I did!), and we decided to meet at 2 to do a bit of browsing and bullshitting. We met up, and shopped for about an hour, then decided to go eat at Paneras Breads. Goooood lunch! We all had the soup, sandwhich, salad deal, and just chatted and laughed like the loons we are! I guess we were ther around an hour. when they figured it was time to hit the road. We said our "good-byes" and they were on their way home. A short, but wonderful visit. I really wish we lived closer to eachother so that we could do things like that more often. *sigh* Well, I guess it's off to bed for me, as I have a long ass day to get thru tomorrow, and I'm worthless if I'm tired. Off to dreamland! Nite!